|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 3, 2018 18:49:56 GMT
Welcome welcome to this thread~
Sometimes, I find it so annoying when someone (close to me) copies me and then they get all the compliments. Like, I actually don't understand? Just because they're skinnier? Prettier? Recently, I find that a friend that I've known for 8 years have been copying the way I dress. I would wear something one week and the next week, I see her wearing similar (VERY similar) clothes as me. They even started getting clothes from places that I usually get them and they've never even shopped there. I don't care about either of those but people started gushing over how her outfit looks so nice and how she's so fashionable and sht. It's not like I dress to impress but like it just annoys me. Can anyone relate or is it just me?
I sound like a bitch right now especially since she's my close friend but she's been getting on my nerves lately. Not the clothes but her two faced personality. In front of guys, she's always acting like she's the most innocent angel in this world. She would act all shy and laugh softly but when she's with us, she starts talking trash about other people and slaps the table while laughing at the top of her lungs. She also never admits that she's wrong and gets all on top of her high horse when she knows that she's right.
She wasn't like that for the first 3 years I've known her. However, after we got into middle school, she started having all these guys like her and completely changed. Guys were then of higher priority than friendship. She would always try to get their attention and start bragging about what they said/did. It's like those super lowkey yet highkey bragging, if that makes any sense.
If I could, I would have stop hanging out with her. However, after 7th grade, everyone already had their own little group so it was a bit odd to join them. Besides, I've had enough drama in elementary school that I promised myself that I wouldn't get into anymore in middle school. Now that we're in high school, I'm still stuck with her. I don't want drama for these 4 years either so it's not like I can do anything.
I have another friend that i find really cringe-worthy but I'll get to it another day. I think I've had enough rant today lol
I just wanted to get all these thoughts off my shoulders
|
|
|
Post by Honda Miyuki on Mar 4, 2018 2:26:40 GMT
Well, friends are not always perfect and they have their qualities that will bug us to bits and pieces. Sometimes one of my oldest and best friends says things that make me want to scream and rip my hair out, but I mostly know that's because we think in such different ways.
Perhaps she is trying to dress like you out of admiration? People are strange. Growing up, my mom insisted that the neighborhood girl who was my arch-nemesis into my teens was jealous of me. So, apparently she treated me horribly because she was jealous of me? My mom's a good judge of character, so I think she has a point. But I don't see how jealousy can equal being mean. The point is, sometimes people express a certain emotion in really weird ways.
Also, sometimes people act completely different when around people they like, ESPECIALLY a lot of teenage girls around guys (not all, I wasn't like that persay).
You could try to talk to her about what is bothering you in a non-combative way. This might still make her mad. I once made a friend mad by telling her I couldn't do something after school one day. I had the bad luck of unknowingly texting her this while she was in an argument with someone else. So, she took it out on me. So I ripped apart her insults and told her how she was wrong on so many levels. I didn't think I was being THAT brutal, but I made her cry because she didn't actually want to act that way. It was a spur of the moment, blind rage, mood swing, freakout (I also suspect this friend has Borderline Personality Disorder, so the impulsivity could be linked to that). Needless to say, everything was cool. This doesn't always work.
But I think talking about it is better than breaking off a friendship with no explanation. I once had a whole group of friends just start ignoring me. I spent months calling them even ON THEIR HOUSE PHONES, emailing them, trying to talk to them, and I even wrote one girl a birthday card with the not so subliminal message of trying to figure out what happened (apparently the girl only noticed the birthday card since she thanked me for it and mentioned nothing else). It's honestly agonizing. Oh and when I did get an explanation it wasn't very good, "We're not that close" [bullcrap, I may have been an outsider in the friend group but these people were some of my only friends], "you're not very nice" [examples? of course not], and "you talk to us too much" [sorry I'm excited to see you and want to spend time with you]. In hindsight, these friends were awful to begin with, so their loss.
I can kind of get feeling weird about joining a specific group. I was a drifter for most of my childhood. I had a few stable friends and a lot of groups of acquaintances I could blend into whenever I felt like it. When I did try to settle down with a solid group in about the 6th grade, it backfired tremendously with the above situation in the 9th grade. So, I went back to drifting around places for the rest of high school. I would advise doing that, but I get that it could feel awkward. I guess I just have a good personality for it. There were very few cliques in high school I couldn't find someone to be friendly with in.
Started off college like that too and still am. Although I've introduced enough of my friends to each other and befriended enough friends of my friends that there seems to be a friend group that I have. Still, I often feel the need to just float around between groups. I think a part of this is due to the fact that I'm better with socialization in groups, but can be really awkward one to one.
And drama is literally the worst. Sometimes I am curious as to other people's drama, but I don't ever want to be involved in it. I'd definitely try to avoid it.
Sadly, I find that drama usually appears eventually.... It's like that for everyone. For me, I find that people drag me into it. One time one girl was talking trash about a friend of mine in class, which I was ignoring because he wasn't there (if he had been, there would have been hell to pay). She then turned to me and asked, "Oh you know him, don't you?" She literally dragged me into it... I literally fought with her the rest of the class period (not physically, but she was being an idiot so I had to tell her what was really going on and how she was wrong and needed to treat people better). The teacher literally backed me up, and she STILL continued it. Honestly, people can be so frustrating.
Oh, and as for guys being higher priority than friendship, I have encountered many people like that who put relationships over friendships. Honestly, their priorities are skewed. Not that prioritizing relationships is bad, but you can't just ignore your friends. I hear substantially more from one of my closest friends whenever she is single. Although, I've started to realize that her taste is improving as she ages so I don't feel like I have to monitor her love life like a hawk. She has some problems with establishing and maintaining healthy relationships.... She claims she went through a "bad boy phase," to which I say that being chronically attracted to abusive and manipulative guys for almost the ENTIRETY OF YOUR ADOLESCENCE is not a phase and is an indicator of problems. Then again, this is the friend I suspect has Borderline Personality Disorder...
Hang in there! It'll all work out soon. And if you choose to go to college, people are much more chill there.
|
|
|
Post by Kashima Rika on Mar 4, 2018 2:57:51 GMT
The issue like Miyuki said is that high school is inherently limited in the people you meet. I definitely had problems with pet peeves with my hs friends even though I loved them to death, but if I'm being real my best friend/current roommate and I get along almost perfectly. At least, nothing about her bugs me idk if I bug her haha but we both know we can straight up tell each other if there's an issue. Usually it's like "do your goddamn dishes" or something.
My point is, you will meet new people and it's important to keep your standards high, even for friends. You want friends you can trust when things go awry, so it makes sense to choose carefully.
She seems like the kind of girl who in the future would be super friendly when she's single and then drop you when she gets a bf. I know someone like that now and it's driving my friend group insane.
Also don't be afraid to rant here :^)
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 4, 2018 3:51:06 GMT
I feel like she is the type like Rika described but what do I know because for the first 3 years that I've known her, I was always an outsider among her group of friends. I was never really important and is just that extra person. It was only in 6th grade where I sensed a tiny bit of importance for her because I was the only one that she knew in the class. However, 7th grade came by and she had another friend that she's close with and I'm that semi-outsider to her again. Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell/confront her about what's wrong because she doesn't think that she's doing anything wrong. I doubt there was ever a time where she thought, "ah, I hated when xx did this so I shouldn't do it." I understand that it's not natural to think that way unless someone is super self conscious but still. She does whatever she wants and always get forgiven for it because she's this cute, innocent, little angel to everyone else. I, however, like to express myself a little more freely so when we're involved in something, people always stand on her side, whether we're fooling around or not. Besides, she never tells me anything. She only tells me things when she wants to lowkey brag about it. Every time I try to talk to her, she would go like, "You don't know anything...No...Uh...actually, it's different.." and whatnot. It's hard for me to communicate to her unless we're just talking about light topics. I have a friend that I've known for 3 years and I'm 100 times more comfortable talking to her even though we don't see each other often than someone that I've known for 8 years and see almost everyday. Even if I actually pick up the courage to talk to her about what's wrong and what's bothering me, it will for sure cause major drama. For most of middle school, we were in a group of 5 friends. In 8th grade though, we had our senior trip that was 2 days 1 night to Washington D.C. The school told all seniors that the hotel rooms are either 2 in a room or 4 in a room. Obviously, since we had an odd number, we had to split it up. Initially, we planned on doing two 4-people rooms since no one wanted to pay the extra $40 for the 2-people rooms. Coincidentally, we had another friend (would I call her that?) that was sort of hanging out with us? We asked her to join us and she said yes. Drama mainly arose from there when we were splitting. (To make it easier to understand, V being the girl that I'm talking in my first post, W being her close friend since 7th grade, X being the neutral friend in our group, Y being the friend that was effected, Z being the girl we were sort of hanging out with) V insisted that she be in a room with W, X and I didn't really care, Y was always the more outsider-than-me friend and an inch closer to Z than the rest of us are. Since Y was more of an outsider than me, she obviously was scared about V, W, X, and me being in a room and leaving her with Z so she kept wanting to cling onto me. We had several light arguments about who should room with room. After many days and weeks, V and W decided to tell X to tell Y that she can just go room with Z. That made Y really upset since she felt even more excluded and not part of our group anymore. Of course, following that, Y stopped hanging with us and V and W started saying how she betrayed us and shit. They would say how she chose to leave to us and how she despises her and stuff but in front of the guys, she's like "I feel so bad " Someone else in our class noticed that Y isn't hanging out with us anymore and asked us what happened. V and W decided to say stuff that isn't true and tried to make Y look bad. That is the thing that I fear the most. The dramas that occurred in elementary school, which was much much much much more worse, had made me scared of being alone again. (I'll get to it another time) That's also why I became a follower of groups. It's rare for me to speak of my opinions. Most of the time, I usually just agree to whatever they want/say. Anyways, our history is long and is quite difficult for me to explain everything without my organization being a mess so hopefully everything makes sense. oh and something else, it really annoys me the way she texts. Every time that I try to text her, whether it's important of not, she always reply with, "oh..lol..lmao..same..lol..oh..yeah..^..uh.." It makes me wonder if she really cares. Sometimes, I write a long message and instead of a short one word reply, I actually want a genuine reply even if it's one sentence. It's for sure not topics that she's uncomfortable with or topics that are awkward to reply.
|
|
|
Post by Kashima Rika on Mar 4, 2018 4:01:20 GMT
Next time you're in DC hit up me n Yuka we live there ;D That's quite the mess you got there O: tbh sometimes friends are fine as casual friends, not close friends. Nothing wrong with that ^^ Edit: made you guys a ranting thread talk all the shit
|
|
|
Post by Kurosawa Yuka on Mar 4, 2018 4:08:36 GMT
part of me wants to tell you to talk it out with your 'friend'. the other part wants me to tell you to start wearing progressively uglier/more ridiculoud clothing and see if she keeps copying you
|
|
|
Post by Kashima Rika on Mar 4, 2018 4:21:21 GMT
chaotic evil I like it
|
|
Yamada Fumi
YME48 Team Y
Guess who? (Yamami!) Correct! It's Yamada Fumi the highschool sophmore! Thank you!
Posts: 268
|
Post by Yamada Fumi on Mar 4, 2018 4:25:56 GMT
Honestly, I think you should get out of there.
I would write a whole explanation but kinda busy atm.
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 11, 2018 1:06:18 GMT
As I mentioned before, here’s my elementary school drama. I will only be talking about 2 girls in this post because it’s already long enough. I’ll get to the other and last girl another day.
(Reference: X for shitty girl #1, Y for shitty girl #2) <- Different girls from my other posts
Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. In fact, I don’t even know when exactly the drama started. As far as I remember, everything just happened one day. So, in the December of 1st grade, I transferred to my ex-elementary school. Since my parents work from 8 until 5 and school ends at 2, I was forced to go to those after schools that are so suppose to help you with homework and whatnot but is really just like an after school care. There, I met these three girls from my school. Little did I know, they are one of the worst human beings in this world. Before I start getting into what the girls did/said to me, X is this girl that is only mean when she has a backbone and Y is this bossy, thinks she is on top of this world bitch. Anyways, we all had this on and off friendship. We are either really good friends with each other one day or talk trash about each other the next day. I don’t even remember what caused the provoking of drama but I just remembered that I was never the one to start it. Not to say that I didn’t do anything because I did but I never purposefully started one. I won’t get into the starting of the dramas because not going to lie, I don’t remember (that’s how significant they are) them but I’ll get into some of the things that the bitches did.
Y thinks that she knows everything and would constantly try to explain me. I would be looking at the floor but Y would think that I’m looking at my own feet. She would constantly ask me, “Why do you always look down at your feet when you walk? Are they THAT attractive???” and when I try to tell her that I’m not and I know where my eyes look, she goes “you are LITERALLY looking at your feet. I can see. I have eyes.” First of all, why does she care where I look? Second of all, how does she know that I’m looking at my feet? Third of all, how would she know that I’m looking at my feet if she isn’t constantly looking at me? There are other similar events such as when my mom invited her over to my house (my mom and her grandma are friends so it’s not like I can say no to her coming over) and she would every so often walk into my room. She looks around like she’s investigating my room and trying to take stuff. Naturally, I follow her in whenever she does go in. I think she finally had it or something and said to me, “Why do you always follow where I go?” and I’m just like, Because you look so fucking fishy???” in my head. However, I didn’t say that. Instead, I said, “because this is MY room and I can walk in whenever I want?” This dumbass can’t turn her brain and said, “I never said you can’t go into your room whenever you want. I’m just asking why you keep following me!” while rolling her eyes. LIKE IS SHE RETARDED OR SOMETHING? It is MY room and I can go in whenever the fuck I want and not necessarily because I’m following her even though I was but I have a reason to. Those two things were literally nothing. I could care less about it. The thing that annoyed me the most was her thinking that she’s the boss of X and I. X and I are followers so Y naturally took advantage of it and acted like she is the boss. She DEMANDED gifts from X and I during Christmas time and during her birthday. She was like “let’s get each other gifts” when her intention the whole time was just for us to give her stuff. Of course, X and I figured that out so we didn’t get her anything. Literally, everyday after Christmas and her birthday, she kept on asking us, “where’s my presents? You said you were going to get me __, __, ___, and ___. Where are they? You promised me. You guys are such liars” and whatever. Not only that, we would play these pretend teacher games and she would give us these “homeworks” like getting her stuff, doing stuff for her, and dares from her. When we don’t do it, she starts talking shit about us and get all sassy. There was this one time where I forgot about it but X didn’t so she and X teamed up against me. They would go into my backpack (we had to hang out backpacks and jackets in the closet) and take things out. I know for a FACT that they took it because X later told me that it’s all Y’s idea. It’s not even like they took it. They literally went inside my backpack and would purposely drop things. I lost lip balms, pencils, homeworks, and a stapler because of them. I told my mom while crying when I left school and my mom understands because I tell her what Y does to me. However, Y decided to act like a fake victim and told her grandma fake lies. Her grandma saw my mom the next day and said something to her and my mom told me to apologize to Y. That was so fucking unfair because I did NOTHING to her. I never even confronted her or even had the guts to go near her. It was not only Y that is fucked up. Her grandma is fucked up too. In 5th grade, I decided to wear a trench coat to school and her grandma said to me “Why do you wear such mature clothes? They don’t look good on you. Look at Y. She dresses good. You should look up to her in clothing”. Guess what? You don’t need to fucking care what I wear. Whether it looks good on me or not is not up to you and your granddaughter dresses like a fucking 5 year old. Y literally wore a bright red, up-to-knee, down jacket with blue jeans and some calf black leather boots every single day. On the inside, she wears these grandma pattern sweaters. On top of her disgusting clothing choices, she had the fucking nerves to judge me and tell me that I “changed” and I COPY her. She would tell me things like “you changed” and not tell me WHAT about me “changed.” When I ask her, she just goes, “you changed. You changed” while shaking her head and looking annoyed. She would also comment on how I copy her with wearing boots and piercing my ears when I piereced them in the summer of 2nd grade while she pierced them in the summer 4th grade. Besides, boots are not limited to her only and I started wearing them first. I just wore them every once in a while.
You guys don’t know know how GLAD I was when I found out that they weren’t in the same middle and high school as me. That’s how I told myself that I was going to start fresh and not get into any dramas.
|
|
|
Post by Kashima Rika on Mar 12, 2018 15:08:02 GMT
Wow what a disaster. Honestly elementary school students can be lil shits lmao. I remember this "pretty girl" asking/demanding me to give her some of my lunch cause she didn't have any, but she brought her iPod and flip phone to school everyday and wore expensive shoes so I was like ....? no? so she called me a bitch I'm glad you have better friends now <3
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 12, 2018 21:44:21 GMT
Last year are so, Y sent me an apology note screenshot and I was considering on forgiving(?) her and apologizing too but I heard from my close friend that is also "friends" with her that she never changed. She is still the bitch she was and talks shit.
So, my close friend from the same school as her got into the #1 high school in NY/NYC and Y and her friends got jealous and started comparing my friend with her other friends that got higher scores when in fact, they were going into round 2* for the high schools.
*round 2 is when you are not satisfied with your initial high school result (for example, a bad school) and appeal to better one from the ones available
|
|
|
Post by Honda Miyuki on Mar 13, 2018 3:13:49 GMT
Honestly, when people are so terrible to you, you have it in your every right to not let them back in. Last year at some point two former friends of mine from my younger years who turned on me and treated me terribly friend requested me on Facebook. They probably both saw me in their mutual friends suggestions since we have quite a few of those. I deleted the requests, and it felt good and liberating almost.
Now I have no hard feelings against either of them. I’m over it and have grown up. I’ve found my own way and frankly they are a little too late to restore what once was. If I ran into either in public, I’d chat with them and be friendly and happy to hear about any successes they have had. But I’m not forced to go to that school and associate with them anymore since we all graduated in June 2016. I don’t need that in my life frankly if they should pull things like that again. I don’t think either are bad people, but I just don’t think they are people I should go out of my way to involve in my life in any capacity.
It’s possible to forgive people and let bygones be bygones and still recognize that you don’t want to let said individuals in again. So, if you don’t feel comfortable with it, then don’t.
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 20, 2018 23:25:06 GMT
It's March 20th aka first day of spring and here in New York, there will be a snow storm tomorrow and it hasn't even began snowing but school's already called off
Not that I'm complaining but just ¯\_(ツ)_/
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Mar 27, 2018 19:04:45 GMT
This is not really a rant but I just wanted to post Naachan's theater units from when she first appeared in a unit to the latest one
[media]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k2Xt1YwyaWpP7UqsYiw[/media]
Please watch it!! and convert to a Naachan oshi Even if you can't, at least skip through some parts within the same time period!
|
|
|
Post by Tsuzuki Rika on Apr 1, 2018 17:20:39 GMT
This is not even a rant thread anymore lolAny of you here wear jumpsuits? I really want to go out of my comfort zone and try them but I don't know what to pair them with since a lot are either sleeveless or strapless :/ I'm seeing a lot of jumpsuits (mainly plain black) with denim jacket but I really like this one but my trusty google is not giving me much inspirations lol: Any suggestions? I really like this one too but it's 5'3 long and I'm barely 5'2 so it'll be dragging on the floor T_T
|
|